Dear My Super Sport Talented Siblings,
I would like to personally thank you for the humiliation you have inflicted on me every time I pick up a ball/bat/glove/racket.
I have been outshown in every sport from Four Square to Volleyball, from Baseball to Football, from Track to "Dad Throws The Ball At Us While We Dodge it And Kayla Gets Nailed".
My super-uncoordinated self has been hit, tackled, and nailed with every ball there is. You have watched while I dived and flailed for balls, missing by yards and waving my arms sporadically around in a desperate attempt to make contact with a round object.
I have had to Walk the "Walk of Shame", through the neighbor's yard to retrieve countless balls, and not because, like you, I kicked it with super-powered legs out of the atmosphere and into the neighbors yard. Noooooo. Because I tried to serve a volleyball forward and it went backward like a magnet to the ground.
In Four Square, I think I have been in Trash more than any of you. In Volleyball, you won 100,000,000 to 0. I football, I threw for a miraculous 3 yards, and you intercepted it and ran in for a touchdown.
AND YET I ASK YOU- could YOU sing in 3-5 part harmony for 3 hours a day, with people on different parts beside you? Could you power through hours of dance review already made painful by your uncoordination? Could you practice drama for 5 hours a week and go to a state drama competition? Have you been to professional video sets/competitions/practices? COULD YOU DO IT? Oh no. No no no no no. Your perfectly muscle toned bodies could not withstand the diaphragm exercises i excel at. You couldn't stand one hour in the hot dance room I practically live in, sweating your life out in hard work and alignment. You would crack and begin to sing what your ear hears, not the harmony your choir so desperately thirsts for. You couldn't.
And so while I dive and swing and trip and fall, I laugh, because I know that I am much more well trained than you. I snicker when you perfectly hit the ball AGAIN, because I know that inside, I am confident in myself. "Performers beat athletes" is my mantra, only because I need something to hang onto while the world is spinning.
This is why next tie you invite me to play football/baseball/basketball I will politely decline, blaming allergies while you silently thank God i'm not going to be on your team.
You know, I'm just going to practice piano while doing diaphragm excercises. Goodbye.
Love,
Your Super-Talented Performer Sister
